So what? I’m a whore

In the bathroom at the Rat, I witnessed a girl run up to another and ask if she had slept with a certain guy. She affirmed this, only to be told that the other girl had slept with him the night before. This was great news and they were soon swopping stories, scarring everone in the bathroom. This got me thinking. Is this ‘get laid’ attitude a socially acceptable university thing? Are we just becoming promiscuous whores?

One of the strangest things about Rhodes students is that everyone has an opinion about sex, whether they’re having it or not. A part of us believes that in this modern day and age, premarital sex deserves to be accepted and talked about freely and not swept under the rug as in our parents’ day. The other part of us feels that we need to control this desire for, as a friend once put it, “instant gratification”. And as another friend puts it: “you have to test drive a car before you buy it” – how can you marry someone you have never had sex with before! We believe it is wrong to sleep around and definitely respect that everyone to their own, but you should never judge someone that has different views to you because some of us take responsibility for it and enjoy it! Sex is not only an enjoyable activity; it also enables you to drop the kilos. It’s like an easy workout baby! Apart from the fact that sex is something natural and beautiful it also brings you much closer to the person in which you are engaging in sexual intercourse with, on both an emotional and physical level. Sex can change every relationship but it is not necessarily bad. Some people have the common misconception that sex allows you to love your body and makes you more confident, sexy and comfortable within your own skin. Although we are not promoting casual sex, we are not saying that it’s not something that isn’t fun. True, it is disgusting how you can have an awesome night with a person, without commitment or regret, and the next night you see them they don’t even freaking greet you!

Sex before marriage is common and realistic in the modern age, however be careful with who you choose to have a session of ‘rompie pompie’ with. You don’t want to remember him a few weeks later, not because of his great abilities  in bed, but because of that nasty rash he has left on your feminine parts.

Three ‘non-virgins’

I feel that there is a lot of pressure at Rhodes to have sex. Unfortunately, it pains me to say that being a girl, it is not only pressure from the guys that is evident, it’s also your girl friends who put pressure on you.

Being at Rhodes, or at university in general, puts the added pressure on because people have a stigma attached to university as the place to have sex, if anywhere, because you are away from the security of being at home and ‘protected’.

It is shocking to hear the number of girls at Rhodes who have had sex and even more shocking that they don’t care that it was ‘some random guy’ they met out the previous night.

The thing that is quite sad is that your friends don’t yell at you for losing your virginity to a guy you hardly know, but rather they can’t believe that you are still a virgin. They say things like: “It’s nothing really, it’s like a first kiss and it makes a guy want you more” and “if you do it once, you will see that it is not that bad”. The thing is that personally, and I know a lot of girls see it this way, sex should not be as unemotional and unimportant as people are making it become. It is something that should happen when both people are ready and they should care deeply for each other. It may sound melodramatic but it’s true!

Another thing, apart from many girls being ‘easy’, is a lot of the sex going on is unprotected! You would hope that everyone had the common sense to know that especially these days, that it is just stupid. I understand that people may say that there is no pressure, because it is what you make of it. That is, if you don’t go looking for it, it won’t happen to you, but the thing is, we shouldn’t even have to think about it that way.

ANON

In my high school, there was nothing glamorous about sleeping around or even having slept with your boyfriend. If you had, you didn’t advertise the fact. I would only talk about sex in forced Life Orientation type settings, or with friends I felt really close with. And now?

Six months down the line, I can count on more than two hands the number of first years in my dining hall who, since arriving at Rhodes, are no longer virgins.

There’s a different vibe around Rhodes night life. In Cape Town, things are so chilled between guys and girls. At Friars, if you meet a guy and you show the least bit of interest in him, he will immediately start trying to get in there. It’s normal to meet, hook up and go home with a guy in the space of an hour, then flee his res room in the early hours of the morning and avoid him for the next three years.

Romi Reinecke

I think the only pressure guys feel is the pressure they put on themselves to sleep with girls. I don’t think anyone really cares whether you get naps or not, but I think it’s a rather superficial idea that if you get naps people will respect you in some way. Not only is this idea stupid and immature, but it has dangerous implications.

A girl that you sleep with today is a girl that might be someone else’s wife a few years down the line, which is why I’ve promised to myself and to God that the only woman I’m ever going to sleep with is my future wife.

Plus, how would a girl feel if she found out a guy was sleeping with her because he felt ‘pressured’ to? Relationships should be treated with freedom and respect, otherwise they will never last. I can understand why people do feel pressure to sleep with girls and I think it’s a serious insecurity problem.

 They let their peers water down and put a blanket on what they know is right. If people ever tease or mock me for being a virgin or not getting naps, they must feel the weight of who I am and they can deal with it.

David Scott

Make sure that Activate’s read ers hear all sides and send in your opinions.

Next Edition: Should Zimbabwe adopt the rand?

With the Zimbabwean dollar look ing as weak as Debonairs’ future since Pirates, would a Zim rand solve the problem? Will it benefit both SA and Zim? Is it South Africa’s duty to step in and help out? Or should Zimbabwe go bug Namibia instead? Let me know what you think.

You can send in your views to Kate at

activate.opinion@gmail.com

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One Response to So what? I’m a whore

  1. Bene says:

    Its a bunch of nonsense. The body must be respected as respectable space that you can not just open up to anybody. Have some of you stopped to think why som many marriages are failing? Its caused by many factors, but the problem emanates from lack of trust – that has some of its roots in pre-marital sexual experiences and fantasies. You can dispute it but its absolutely true. I have had the provilege of being one counsellor dealing with university students and i must say, I am afraid students have to learn to confront themselves and say is this all wasting of my body at this stage necessary.

    Some think that it is being modern to engage in premarital sex, etc. I for one do not think we are becoming more civilized than our parents. They were more able to control their world than we are – and that capacity to be in control of your world and society is to me being civilized. if you just go on with the crazy idead of premarital sex which some got from newspapers, or at RHodes – from some sex predators – without questioning it, then we are in for a big time trouble. TAKE CARE BE RESPONSIBLE< DISCIPLINE YOUR BODY.

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