The dream team Cabinet: South Africa’s top officers, chosen by Rhodents

By Jamaine Chiwaye & Tatum Holloway

It is said that, when it comes to selecting a party to vote for, it isn’t about choosing the ripest tomato, but rather the least rotten in the basket. In an effort to dilute our minds, inundated with politics, campaigns, cronyism and corruption, Activate provides an opportunity for students to choose from a panel of seven top cabinet positions. Those nominees they believe fit the bill best – those figures who they see as paramount to South Africa’s political structuring and ultimately capable of leading the country. The principles that you want to see this beautiful nation of ours governed by should be embodied by the person whose name you tick on the ballot, as long as you believe in what they do and stand for. The leadership of this country should transcend the boundaries forced on by past generations, regardless of race and gender differences. In our search for the ultimate cabinet, Activate has been around campus, scouring lecture venues for people’s opinions on who should run the country and why



Tseli Taka, 2nd Year BCom
President:

Desmond Tutu. He seems to embody what a democratic leader should be. He cares about Constitutional values and doesn’t appear to be susceptible to corruption.Vice President: Patricia de Lille. She wasn’t afraid to walk out of her own party. Health: Zackie Achmat (leader of the treatment action campaign [TAC]). He was one of the first associates to fight for free ARVs and he doesn’t say anything about beetroot and potatoes as a medicinal alternative to cure and counteract HIV/Aids.Sport: Clive Barker. He won the African Cup of Nations as coach of South Africa. He is honest, admits defeat and knows when to shut up.Foreign Affairs: Tali Tlali (NPA spokesperson). He is good at deflecting questions and his diplomatic skills are amazing.Education: Barney Tyana (UNISA Vice Chancellor). He runs a good organization and is passionate about his job.


Gyendra Sooriah, 3rd Year BA

President: Cyril Ramaphosa. He helped draw up the Constitution, he knows about the struggle and knows about going from rags to riches.Health: My doctor in Durban, Mr Weisma. He is one of the best doctors in the world. He lectures in med-school, but he didn’t open up a private practice because he wanted to serve the community. He still works in government hospitals.Sport: Jonty Rhodes. He is an icon and he is famous around the world. I presume he would do South African sport some good.Foreign Affairs: Aazil Nazarali. Although he has travelled the world, he has no general knowledge. Like other politicians.Education: Mr Thatcher from Kloof Senior Primary School. He knew everybody by name and made everyone feel happy when I was there. He looks at both sides of every story.Finance: Trevor Manuel. Finance is his niche.

Craig Albers, 2nd Year BA President:

Desmond Tutu. He has integrity, he is not corrupt and he has been a political figure for some time.Vice President: Evita Bezuidenhuit. I’d select her for this position because she is a source of entertainment.Health: Jeremy Mansfield, because he always makes people feel better. Sport: Francois Pienaar. Pienaar knows his sport, he is well known and he can do a lot for South African sport.Foreign Affairs: Nelson Mandela. He has good relations with foreign politicians (he just needs to come back).Education: Jacob Zuma. At least he passed grades one to four.Finance: Trevor Manuel. He stays put in this position because is doing a good job.


Khanya Ngonyama,
Honours in Microbiology President:

Kgalema Motlanthe. He is very mature, he is humble and he doesn’t have corruption charges hanging over him.Vice President: Naledi Pandor (current education minister). I like what she has done for education and people don’t give her enough empathy for the scale of her job.Health: Barbra Hogan should stay. She is doing a good job and, unlike previous people, she encourages ARV use for HIV/Aids sufferers.Sport: Francois Pienaar. He is a sport hero and he is passionate about sport. He was behind the bid to hold the Rugby World Cup in South Africa and he has done so much for sport in our country. He will discourage too much politics in sport.Foreign: The current secretary to the United Nations (UN). He has worked with the UN and he knows the views of other countriesEducation: Khada Asmal. I want him to return. He encourages the re-opening of teacher training in South Africa.Finance: Trevor Manuel. Why change what’s working?

Duncan Fleming, 3rd Year BSc

President: Pieter-Dirk Uys. He has been a political commentator for a number of years and has a lot to say about how the politicians are getting it wrong. Therefore he should know what to do right for the country.Vice President: Nozizwe Madlala-Routledge (Former Deputy Minister of Health). Not necessarily because she knows what she is doing. Rather it is because she is not loyal to her party, she is loyal to her cause. That is exactly who we need in the top offices.Health: Barbra Hogan. She was much better than Manto, so she can staySport: Leon Schuster. He is passionate supporter of rugby and I think that counts for a lot.Foreign Affairs: Helen Zille. Enough said.Education: My philosophy lecturer. He is a genius.Transport: David Bullard because once upon a time he said our transport minister is lacking and because he always has something to say.Finance: Trevor Manuel, obviously.


Gweynlyn Buchanan,
BSC Honours Geology President:

Tokyo Sexwale. He is still linked with the struggle but he is reasonable. He will not take our country to economic suicide over political issues.Vice President: Helen Zille. It will be good to see a woman in this role. She is willing to bring up issues and deal with them as opposed to people in our government trying to hide things.Sport: Ali Bagger. He is against the quota system. He says more people should get in on merit. During the apartheid he wasn’t able to get into a team because he is coloured so he understands the issue.Foreign Affairs: Charlize Theron. She is an ambassador already and people judge South Africa by her.Education: Ria Smith, my English teacher at Sheppie High. She is now in the Education Department working her way up. She was an incredibly gifted person when it came to working out what was good for the student.Finance: Trevor Manuel. He keeps our country afloat.

Sandira Chetty, 3rd Year BJourn President:

A sack of potatoes. Rather incompetent than corrupt.Vice President: My Dad (Nithia Chetty). He has very good leadership skills. He will make a wonderful leader.Health: Nozizwe Madlala-Routledge she exposed a lot of corruption.Sport: Jacques Kallis because he has experience in sport, he is really good at what he does and he is an inspiration.Foreign Affairs: Gareth Cliff. Man, he is too cool for school. He is highly intelligentEducation: My grandfather (Mr V. Chetty). He was the most influential, intelligent and just man. He cared for the nation and put a lot of time into education. Finance: Tito Mboweni.


2 Responses to The dream team Cabinet: South Africa’s top officers, chosen by Rhodents

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