Fake it then feel it

By Paige Knight

The past few weeks have been a blur of essays, deadlines, fights with friends and cold miserable weather. You would think that under these conditions, no one would be up to the lengthy challenge of making love or even exerting oneself to go out to find a wild one night stand.


It’s awkward to write this in a sex article, but my Dad always said to me, “Fake it, then feel it”. Before you all think I have some perverted relationship with him, it was said to me, for example, on days when I was feeling ill. He would say “feel better”. On days that I was feeling sad, he said “feel happy” and I truly believe that if you fake it, you can feel what it is you want to feel.

Now that I’ve been philosophical, I can get into the nitty gritty of sex! Faking it is probably the cardinal sexual sin we are all guilty of at one point or another. We fake it for a multitude of reasons. “We want it to end” is at top of the list for girls who are starting to chafe, or guys who have sobered up and are just not that into it any more. We fake it because we care about the other person’s feelings and we don’t want them to feel disappointed.

I say to all you fakers out there, however, that you have become complacent in your dead body antics of lying still like some wet fish during sex. Knowing it’s not going to happen in the back of your mind and telling yourself it’s pointless to expend the last of your energy reserves on a silly little thing that lasts a few seconds when, nine times out of ten, it does not happen. This behavior becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because if your mind is not in the game, your Vjay-jay or Big-John can only do so much.

You are not going to get fit if you sit on your bum doing nothing, so why is it that when it comes to sex, people think that if they do nothing they will climax? FAKE IT, THEN FEEL IT! I want you to go into sex thinking, “Tonight, I’m going to cum!” You can’t let your mind be inactive during sex. If you need to think of random things to get you off, do it, no one is in your head but you. Get yourself comfortable with your own thoughts.

Women also have to take control in bed. I feel sorry for the guys out there who have gone to all the trouble to buy you drinks and a fancy meal and after all that they still have to dazzle you in the bedroom. Please, ladies, put in some effort! Show that you want to have sex, tell him what he has to do. I can assure you your man will be very excited and pleased by this.

In the end, you need to know yourself. Like the Dalai lama says, “Become one with who you are.” If you have never climaxed before, buy a vibrator. Get to know yourself and explore a bit. Don’t feel guilty! In the end it’s up to you to make things happen.

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